A Wallet in Manhattan

I recently had my wallet stolen. 

Getting your wallet stolen is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. It’s the sudden panic knowing you have to cancel your cards, the fear of not remembering how much cash or what cards you had in your wallet, and the wondering if you’ll ever get it back. Unfortunately for me, I was not so lucky to get it back — which is a true disappointment because the wallet itself was sentimental (an old friend had brought it back from Spain, and it had a cat on the front of it). 

I was in New York City (when I say that, everyone goes “ohhh”) in a cute little coffee shop on 7th avenue. I sat down in the corner and pulled out my laptop, hoping to get some work done before an interview I had west of midtown. 

As I was drinking my chai latte, I saw a woman from across the shop, and she had a huge price tag sticking out of her dress. Her dress was brand new, and she was walking around Manhattan with the price showing, definitely an embarrassing start to the day. 

I had to get up to get a packet of sugar anyway, so I pulled her aside and let her know it wasn’t cut, and if she needed scissors. Obviously, she didn’t even thank me and her reply was curt (insert comment like *that’s New York for you*). 

Disappointed that I wasn’t greeted with a thank you, I sat down back at my seat and went to grab my headphones out of my purse. As I dug around (it’s often extremely messy and packed with things like nose spray and bobby pins) I noticed the headphones weren’t there. And then I noticed my wallet wasn’t there. After I did the quick maybe-it’s-in-here-somewhere, I knew it had been stolen. 

…..

After an hour of panicking while I called my credit card company and my bank, and waited for the NYPD to show up (which they did four hours later and then it couldn’t even be reported because I wasn’t there…not like it matters because the man was probably halfway to 242nd street) I sat and thought about how stupid I had been for leaving my bag alone for a second. I blame my Pennsylvania-ness, after all, you could probably leave your baby somewhere and no one would steal it (not that I would recommend doing that at all, it’s still against the law even if you are in the burbs). 

The worst part about getting my wallet stolen was that I wondered about the “what-ifs.” If I had caught an earlier subway, maybe he wouldn’t have stolen my wallet. If I didn’t choose that cafe, maybe it would have been more crowded and I wouldn’t have stuck out. What if he had taken more than just my wallet and instead, took my whole purse and laptop and phone?

It’s obvious that I learned my lesson that day, but I also learned that I really do believe in everything happens for a reason. Of course there are things that happen that we can’t control and that we wish we could control.  Everyone needs something to keep them moving onward. For some, it’s fate or destiny, for others it’s a higher being. I just believe somehow my life will fall on the course that I want it to go on, and eventually, I will reach what I’ve been trying to reach. Along the way, there’s been a lot of what-ifs. 

***

Three days after I got my wallet stolen, I got a phone call. 

It was a job offer for a small media company on Long Island. They were offering me a position to become their online and social media editor. I had two weeks to pack up my Pennsylvania things and head to New York, the state I had so desperately been trying to move to, permanently (and the same state that I unfortunately had to lose my wallet in).

I’ve been seeing that sometimes you just need to wait for that moment. There is a moment where things fall into place, the stars align, you see a rainbow — all the magical stuff that comes with following your dreams and not giving up. That’s the short WordPress version, minus all the picture-perfect memes that talk about struggling before succeeding, shooting for the stars — the mumbo jumbo you share on Instagram. 

So I’ve been learning not to dwell on the what-ifs. What-ifs cause anxiety, what-ifs make you feel lost. Focus on the now and wait for the future.

And never, ever leave your bag alone in New York City.

In Time

When you’re a creative soul, you can’t help but be your worst critic.

Can you help when you look back at old stories, poems and the times where you just wrote. You can only grimace by how lackluster it is. Can you help when you’re an artist and your old paintings are hidden in attics or stashed away in storage because they just wouldn’t sell? They spoke to you. Can you help when you’re a performer and the recollection of a past performance haunts you? You cried when you left the stage.

I critique as a way to become better — to unleash creativity that hides in small spaces of my skeleton, the kind that harbors until it is discovered. I critique to feel whole again — to know that I am human and I have something to reach for and find that part of me that needs to grow.

When pen meets paper, when fingers brush keyboards or pencils scratch at old napkins, I can’t help but remind myself of the writer I was and the writer I am and the writer I’m becoming and the writer I’ll never be….

Can I help it when I look back and read what I’ve written and I can’t help but be reminded of my past? And is it my fault that all I want to read is my future?

Those Beautiful Numbers

It is finally here. The moment we, mainly me, have all been waiting for.

It’s taken quite some time, and now that it is here, I don’t know what to say.

But, I have to say something…

What is it that I am talking about?

Well, if you look over to your right, you will see something that says “Blog Stats.” Underneath that, you will see a five-digit number. That five-digit number means that I have finally met my goal of two-plus years: 10,000 hits.

Look at Zooey, even she couldn’t control her excitement for the 10,000 hits!

I don’t really know what made me want 10,000 as my goal. I guess it is just a good number to aim for. I think we like numbers that have zeros in them (as long as it isn’t zero by itself!) They just seem important.

I set these odd goals because I find joy out of every like, comment, question, or recognition that someone read my blog. The fact that people care enough about me, or what I write, to stop by my page means more to me than what I am actually writing.

I know it seems a little unnecessary to hope for a certain number of hits, or likes, or whatever you want to call it. I know I shouldn’t be hoping for a number on the right side of my page, but I can’t help it. Seeing the numbers go up, seeing the comments in my dashboard, and seeing all of the people truly caring about the words on this webpage is something that can’t be monitored without numbers.

So, this moment means a lot to me. It showed me that every time I posted my link to my page on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram; you name it, it was worth it.

Sometimes, because I want a lot of traffic on my page, I will try and go through my old posts and purge what seems outdated or boring. But, then I stop. I shouldn’t try and correct what is already “said and done.” I should move on. I should try and become more expressive with my writing and make meaning of what I am trying to say through my words.

I think that is why I look back at all those old posts because it shows how far I have come. I saw that I had things to write about, but it wasn’t what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about loss, love, friendships, heartaches, funny moments, cats, coffee, and everything in between. I think that is one of the joys of writing. Anything is possible; you just need to right words.

This moment of recognition of making my goal of 10,000 hits is something that can’t be forgotten. As much as it seems like a stretch, it shows how much I have grown as a writer. Thanks to all my readers, you know I couldn’t have done it without you. Every writer needs an audience. I

I won’t stop writing. I look at Moore With Madi as an outlet to tell truth, share my stories, get people to laugh, and most of all, try to make it big with the written word.

Thank You Bloggers

One of my very close friends, and fellow wordpresser (see her blog here http://thoughtfullywritten.wordpress.com ) went shopping today. She’s one of those friends that no matter what you are doing or what time of the day it is, you can always have a decent conversation with her. No matter how much time goes by where we don’t talk (we blame college) whenever we get back together it’s like nothing has changed.

Anyway, we both were discussing our writing with our blogs, and I think we both agreed that one of the most important part of having a blog is caring about other avid writers. It’s one thing to manage your own blog and write everything you are feeling, several times a week. It’s another to stumble upon other writers who share the same passion as you.

I know I devote a lot of my time trying to get more followers and other people to view my site, but I think I want to spend more time viewing other blogs. I think as a writer I need to learn from others as a part of my journey to (hopeful) success.

I’ve come across so many amazing bloggers on this site. It is truly a wonderful thing to realize how many other people are out there that either share a passion for writing, or something else, or both. I love coming across blogs where the person not only is amazing writer that I can learn from, but they also share a passion for something bigger. There are so many cooking blogs, photography blogs, music blogs, and personal blogs that I have found this past year. I really wish I could meet some of you, to just shake your hand and thank you for giving other bloggers like me inspiration and courage to keep going. My friends and family have backed me up with everything I do, but without the amazing people on WordPress, I probably would have quit two years ago. So thanks to every random person who has followed me, liked my post, or shared a comment. You’re part of the reason I keep on writing.

An Award? For Me?

Well I knew I was going to write something tonight, but little did I know that it would be thanking the academy, my parents, and Jesus.  Oh wait, wrong speech…

I am thanking the one blogger who nominated me for this thing called the “Very Inspiring Blogger” award.  Blogger “B” from Rambles, Rants and Raves has awarded me this award.  This concept is new to me, but I am always open to receiving things like gifts, candy, back massages, and virtual awards.  Please check out her blog (I’m assuming she is female because there was one post of Ryan Gosling shirtless…..let’s be serious.) because the posts are witty and easy to relate to, and I love people that rant.

So, there are some rules to accepting this award.  I better follow them.  Whoever is nominated needs to:

-Thank the blogger that nominated you/gave you the award

-Put up the award on your blog page

-Tell the world seven wonderful things about yourself

-Nominate 15 bloggers.  Tell them that you nominated them and how to accept the award.

Decided to put a happy kitty picture (inspiration: B) to set the mood.

Kitty love!

I posted the award at the end of this post.  I just thought it looked better that way.

I need to say seven things about myself.  Well, what to say.

1. I love cats.  Like, if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would be considered a crazy cat lady.  Actually, it doesn’t really matter that I’m dating.  I am still a crazy cat lady.  But I don’t care, look at my kitties and tell me you wouldn’t be crazy about them. 

2.  I have two jobs, which are amusing and busy for the most part.  I am a “librarian’s assistant” at a library, and at my college, I work in the Marketing and Communications department. Basically, I am surrounded by computers, books, and writing.  Three of my favorite things!

3.  I am trying to be a decent cook, so I have been collecting cookbooks and stashing them in my attic for when I move out.  I have made some pretty okay dishes like Fettuccine Alfredo and Butternut Squash Soup.  My all-time favorite book (that I want to buy) is Martha’s American Food.  Every single recipe makes me go, “MMMM.”

4. I always enjoy meeting new people.  I talk excessively and when someone talks back and shares the same interests, I dub them my friend.  Sometimes that works out.  I met this super spectacular guy at the library.  He always checks out Shakespeare books or classics.  He has a great personality and my night is not-so-terrible when he comes in to say, “What’s up.”

5.  I have a collection of Winnie the Pooh merchandise.  Books, mugs, stuffed animals, a kite, PEZ dispensers, and mini statues.  A.A. Milne would be proud.

6.  I’m sure most of you know the next fact…but I cannot live without my coffee.  House blend, dark roast, light roast, Pumpkin flavored, Hazelnut, French Vanilla, gas station coffee, home brewed, Keurig cups, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks….you name it, I will drink it.  I typically spend half of my paycheck at Dunkin Donuts.  Caramel coffee with cream no sugar.

7.  When I do math homework I don’t understand, I get so worked up that I start to hyperventilate  which also includes me pulling my eyelids and yelling, “MATH IS STUPID.”

There are seven more facts you probably didn’t care to know but read anyway.  Now, for the people I nominate.  These are in no particular order either.

1.  Fed Up Food:  The best blog if you want to hear someone rant about food.  He rants, and gives recommendations about all kinds of food.  Some people don’t really care too much about what they are eating or where they are eating.  Some of his posts really make me laugh, and some really open my eyes to the important world of eating.

2.  Mae’s Beauty Reports:  I love doing art on my nails, and the best way to get tips on how to do so is on Mae’s blog.  She claims to be no professional, but her nail art looks like something you would have to go to school for in order to perfect!  Stop by her blog for great tips on nail art, makeup, and also accessories!

3.  Bucket List Publications:  You know when you sit around with your friends and say how much you want to travel and experience the world?  Well, this blog shows how one woman doesn’t just talk about it, she actually goes out and achieves her “wildest dreams.”  From rock climbing to skydiving it seems to me this woman has done it all, and the fact that she doesn’t plan on stopping makes me continue to stop by her blog.

4.  The Life and Times of Nathan Badley:  This was one of the first blogs I followed, shortly around the time when I started my own blog.  I love his writing because it is about random things that are both funny and relevant.  A recent post about cupcakes really had me “Lol.”

5.  Sarah Smiles Awhile:  Also another hilarious blogger.  I love her humor and her usage of lists in her about me section.  I too, love lists!  I think I always smile when I read her post, and I know you will too!

6.  The Urchin Movement:  I really enjoy reading the posts of the Urchins.  They provide a topic of conversation for any ordinary human being.  Their categories range from politics to art.  Stop by if you want something a bit more serious.

7.  Misanthropology 101:  First found this blogger because he had a post about his cats.  As you know from my seven facts above, I love cats.  So therefore, I love this blogger.  Okay, that’s a stretch, but his posts are amusing, and he writes about some of my favorite things (I am talking things other than cats).  Check out his blog because I feel like I am not doing his writing justice.

8.  Disphotic:  He uses photography and writing on his blog.  His writing includes a variety of topics, and I enjoy the fact that he is a photojournalist.  Stop by his blog and prepare to be amazed!

9.  Canadian Hiking Photography:  They say a picture is worth a thousand words.  This guy has a passion for both photography and hiking, and you can see some pretty magnificent photographs, and even purchase some (which trust me, you’ll want to).

10.  Vintage Vicar:  Another thing I love is fashion.  I am always trying to find funky outfits to wear to school, or work, or for whatever! I really enjoy this fashion blog.  It is apparent she loves clothing of all kinds, and I like to look at her posts when I am need for something different to add to my own outfits.

I only listed 10 blogs instead of 15 because I am getting tired and I am lazy.  I apologize to the Blog Award Cops.  Please don’t arrest me.  Perhaps I will add on the other five at a later date.  My laziness reminds me that I really need to start blogging every day.  I am sure the bloggers I nominated above are more determined to post everyday, whereas I am not.  I use these bloggers for motivation when I am feeling down-in-the-dumps.  Sometimes you can’t look toward your Facebook friends for inspiration.  The true passionate people are the ones on WordPress.  They blog because they have a passion for something, whether it be fashion, food, writing, or photography.  Keep on writing friends, thanks for the inspiration!  And thanks again B for my first ever award.  I’m glad my goofy rants and attempt at motivational posts are good enough for someone (other than my cats)!

Hooray!